Long story short: Somewhere between Singapore and Malaysia, Mari & I lost our JAL tickets. In that same bag was my Vietnam visa, but I didn’t know it at the time. Fast forward to today. We get to Malaysia Airlines in Penang, and it was a little disconcerting to know that we really didn’t need our IDs to check in at the ticket counter. No one asked to see my visa, either, which was odd, considering we were leaving the country. Other airlines in other countries would have done this!

So when we finally arrived at Ho Chi Minh airport, I went to the passport agent that looked like Daryl Oyadomari of LA Image Mobile Entertainment (go for the friendly face, right?) and it was smooth until he said, “OK, show me your visa.” I nearly died. I rifled through my bags, but I knew they were with my lost tickets.  He was kind enough to walk me to the visa replacement office and explain the situation.

The kid (he looked all of 21) behind the counter kept trying to make sense of the situation, and suggested he simply send me back to Singapore given the situation. We went round & round, and finally he “got” that I needed to get a replacement visa.

He said, “Well, it’s very difficult. You will need to fill out this form, and then the government needs to consider your request.”

“Will I get out of the airport today?” I asked. This is Vietnam–I was fully prepared to bribe the guy for help, or possibly get ripped off in the official process. He replied, “Possibly.”

After about 10 minutes, he came back and said, “OK, because of my kindness, I was able to get you a replacement visa.” (Yes, so kind of you.) I looked at the pricing chart on the wall and said, “So I pay $25 US?” He looked at the chart and pointed to the higher number. “You have to pay $50. Yes, it’s maybe $25, but there is a service fee.”  I asked for a receipt (so I can claim it on my traveler’s insurance) and he suddenly couldn’t speak English. He danced around the subject and came back to “service fee.”  Whatever. Just get me outta here!

With my new visa in hand, I went back to the Daryl Oyadomari look-alike. He said, “Are you OK? How much did you have to pay?” I told him $50, and he rolled his eyes, let out a pffffttt, and shook his head. I just said, “Yeah, I know.  I know.” An expensive lesson, but at least I’m not being deported. At least they haven’t stranded me here (yet), making me two days late for my job!

After settling in, we went to dinner with some of Mari’s friends at quan an ngon, a huge and very popular restaurant. It has a menu, but the set up is a lot like the hawker stall concept, with multiple kitchens around the perimeter of the restaurant with different things cooking–soups, skewers, desserts, drinks, etc. We ordered many things that you can order at home, like summer rolls, spring rolls, make-your-own summer rolls, choy sum with garlic, and a couple of other things (Elyse has the list). And yet, everything tasted a dozen times better than the stuff you get in Honolulu! The flavors were so fresh and vibrant, and every bite caused many different things to happen in my mouth. It was uber-fabulous. I wanted to take photos but my hands were so messy I couldn’t handle the camera! We had exotic shakes, exotic desserts, and ate a lot, as usual. And yet, when the bill came, it equaled about $6 per person–which is considered expensive city food. Yee ha!

Well, it was a nice ending to a hectic day. And you know, this kind of thing could only happen to me, eh? Anyway, tomorrow we set off for the Mekong Delta, and who knows if I’ll have internet access.

Susan booked an all-day tour around Penang for us with a private driver named Ronny Soo Hoo Foo Keong. He was terrific!

He first took us past things near our hotel, like the protestant cemetery (remember Anna and the King? It’s a true story and her husband is buried there) and the temple of the reclining Buddha. He told us all kinds of trivia, like how the Malay language is fairly new (about 500-600 years old), evolved from Jawhi to incorporate English phonics, like pidgin. He also told us about how Admiral Chang Ho discovered the Americas before the Europeans, but like most pakes was more interested in doing business, not conquering. (Can you imagine if he were? We would be the United States of Chang, a geographic part of North Chang and South Chang, and I’d probably be more than a blogger.) Records show that when the Europeans arrived in America, they did, indeed, find Chinese maps.

One of the pretty spots on the other side of Penang is a place called the Spice Garden, which we felt was like the Lyon Arboretum on steroids. It is full of tropical plants and spice plants, with informational placards along a walking path that branches out to 11 different routes. Along one route, there are monkeys in the treetops, which you can see jumping from branch to branch. Once in a while, a monkey will make a bad choice and you will hear a loud CRACK and see the branch fall. Just like the cartoons!

The highlight of the tour was the Butterfly Farm, though. Whereas in Hawaii we really only see Monarchs, this farm shows you many different varieties of butterflies, all extremely beautiful. You walk through a huge mesh-covered area, where the butterflies fly freely and sometimes will land on you. Only one landed on me, strategically finding an, er, area of my chest and staying there. To mix up the experience, the place also has other displays of live snakes, scorpions, mantises and beetles, as well as two prehistoric-style turtles. Highly recommended for all ages.

On the way back, we asked Ronny to find us some Nonya food. You will find that Chinese people often intermarry all over the world (probably to help them acquire more land). In Penang, Chinese people intermarried with Malay people to create a unique hapa race. The men were called “baba” and the women were called “nonya,” and the women’s primary role was to cook. Thus, a cuisine called Nonya food was born, and you can only find it primarily in Penang, since this race of people rarely moved from there.

It was REALLY difficult to find a Nonya restaurant open at 3 p.m., since they only open from 11-3 (I guess they siesta?). We finally found one, and it was well worth the drive. The proprietor looked at me and thought I was Malay, Chinese, or possibly Nonya, so we basically called her “Aunty.” We had:
* Hey Ya Kay Char Bok – A stir fried salty/sweet pork. This was my favorite!
* Jiu Hu Char – Stir fried turnips with shiitake mushrooms. Very nice.
* Nasi Ulam – Herb rice. It was too lemon grassy for me, but the others really liked it.
* Baba Nasi Kumit – Tumeric rice with cashews. I liked this one!
* Gulai Tumis – Sting ray in a curry sauce. Very spicy! But not as spicy as in Singapore.
* Asam Heh – Tamarind prawns. This was nice tasting, but kind of too messy.
* Kari Kapitan – Chicken in a curry sauce. Too lemon grassy for me.
* Loh bok – pork rolls wrapped in “foo jook,” also known as bean curd skin. Very nice!
* Pro Ikan – A very spicy/sour soup made with a specific kind of greens. Ronny told us that the greens used are not farmed, they are basically found on the side of the road. Niiiice.
* Nutmeg juice – This is what you should drink with a Nonya meal. It is a sweet nutmeg syrup drink that is very refreshing and complements the Nonya food best (although they have other drink choices).

Total bill for 8 people was about $79 US, or $10 per person. Not bad for what you can see is a huge meal!

I would end today’s entry here except that late that evening, Mari got hungry again!! She wanted to go to a hawker stall one last time, so we went to a place called New Lane. This is a very local area, one that the taxi drivers enjoy much more than the Red Garden. Since we got there so late, I couldn’t order some of the things I really wanted, but Mari got the soup she was looking for, plus some satay. Everyone was super nice to us, which was a plus. At the end, Mari beamed, “This was the BEST hawker food so far! Everything was delicious, and there were no other tourists there.”

She wanted to have this one last (culinary) hurrah so she wouldn’t feel she needed to come back to Malaysia just for that, but for me….I would return to Penang. I liked it a lot more than Kuala Lumpur and somehow I felt very comfortable there. Staying at the E&O doesn’t hurt, either!

I think I was surprised to find—especially in Malaysia—how Chinese I am. Many things felt very familiar to me and I could easily order things and describe to my friends how I would eat them at home.

Living in a melting pot like Hawaii, you tend to forget that there are distinct differences between our ethnic roots…until you visit a place in which your culture is rooted. Even an Americanized Chinese upbringing is similar enough to help you get around Chinese parts of Asia.

We took it easy the next day and pretty much just did a self-guided walking tour around the area. We ended up at the Blue Mansion, the only thing that was on our itinerary for the day.

The Blue Mansion is a landmark in Penang, built by Cheong Fatt Tze in the 19th century. This guy is the dream rags-to-riches story: He arrived in Malaysia penniless, then worked hard at various things until he got a big break. He seemed to have pretty good instincts and street smarts, which helped him grow his fortune exponentially—he ended up having eight very significant positions in his lifetime, including economic advisor to the Empress Dowager in China. He had eight wives, and owned many residences throughout his empire (mostly in southeast asia), but made Penang his home and subsequently built the opulent Blue Mansion.

It was pretty cool to take a tour of the home, which costs about 12 Ringitts and starts at 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. daily. The owner (I didn’t catch her name) is a jolly Chinese lady who was able to teach the group things about feng shui, Chinese culture, and Cheong Fatt Tze’s lifestyle. There are photos of him throughout the house, mostly in traditional wear but one in a tuxedo and top hat, where New Yorkers had dubbed him the “Rockefeller of the East.”

Interestingly enough, the Blue Mansion is also a hotel, so our guide naturally gave us the big sales pitch with the final schpiel being, “The richest man in southeast Asia lived and made his fortune here. If your energy is strong enough, maybe you will absorb some of his good fortune when you stay here!” We got to see one of the rooms, which is very simple and rustic. My understanding is that there’s not a lot of service provided, either—and this hotel is almost as much as the E&O! Oh, those enterprising pakes, trying to convince you that it’s worth it to shell out a lot of money to stay in a rustic, no-service hotel! These are the same people who put rats on the menu and dub it a fancy delicacy (see my entries on Vietnam). Yes, these are my people, indeed.

Oh, one other thing we did was visit a mosque–the oldest mosque in Penang, apparently. We were apprehensive about going in, but their ambassador at the front encouraged us to come in and take photos. Since we were not appropriately dressed, they had some ready-to-wear robes and headscarves to enable us to enter. After all, the purpose of almost any church is universal love & sharing, right? They WANT you to see their church, and are eager to give you information on Islam so you can learn more about them. It was fabulous. Or as you can see by our mismatched clothes….

Back at the hotel, there seemed to be a conference for Japanese businessmen. It was odd that their final banquet took place in a room that passed through the business center. So later, as I was blogging, I took a desk that faced outward. A businessman came out and asked me questions in Japanese, and I had no idea what to say. He finally said, “Restroom?” And I said, “Oh! Um, I think it’s over there,” gesturing to the left down the hall. He looked a little surprised that I didn’t give more information, so he clarified the location, and I nodded. Well, afterward I looked down and realized I was wearing my souvenir E&O polo shirt! He must have thought I was on staff, wearing an E&O shirt and sitting at a computer at a big desk facing passers-by. I confessed to the front desk so they would know they shouldn’t fire anyone.

No fuud today—we took in snacks during the day and didn’t get to really sit for a meal!

Upon arrival and disembarkation at the bus depot in Penang, there was a voice blaring over speakers from the adjacent lot:

TAXI TAXI TAXI. DE TAXI IS OVA HEA. DE.TAXI.IS.OVA.HEA. That’s right, step this way, de taxi is here. You get your taxis right here. TAXI TAXI TAXI.

It went on like this for about 5 minutes non-stop. We were doubled over laughing, but at the same time, I was thinking, “Why don’t our taxis do that on boat days?” Hmmm, I better not suggest that, my GM will throttle me. ha. So we did catch De Taxi, and this is actually very good because the loudspeaker guy dictates the price of your fare from a chart so you know the driver will not cheat you.

We arrived at the Eastern & Oriental Hotel, also known as the E&O. All the staff that I saw, young and old, were good looking. No ugly people on staff.  Our very good looking butler, Adam, took us to our room, and from the moment he swung the door open we started squealing and oooohhhing and aaaaahing and taking photos of everything. You could tell he thought we were a little nuts, so I asked, “Do other guests ever do what we’re doing?” And he laughed sheepishly and said no. Susan explained to him, “We don’t get off the farm much.”

Look, the room was HUGE. It was 25 steps just to walk down the hallway. The bedroom fit 3 beds, and the living room had an ocean view. The walk in closet fit 3 people and the bathroom had two sinks at opposite ends of the room. I guess this is the equivalent of the Sheraton Moana Surfrider!

That night we walked to the Red Garden Night Market (hawker center), a very popular place with locals as well as tourists. There’s dancing in the center to American and Chinese folk songs; I’m not sure how they select their singing acts but they seem karaoke-ish.

We tried all kinds of things! The Char Kway Teow is like pad thai and the Hor Fun is simply flat noodles in gravy; the Taiwanese sausage was very tasty. A lot of the food here seems based on familiar Chinese dishes, so I kind of felt like I was in a comfort zone when ordering things.

If you go to Malaysia, you will notice the word “char” on various dishes. I finally figured out that “char” is the equivalent of “chow” at home, which is like the act of stir frying. For example, when you make chow fun in a wok, the act of mixing the noodles to distribute the heat and ingredients is called “chowing.” At least, that’s what my dad told me.

Well, so far so good. I think I like Penang way better than KL. It just seems more interesting, and the people are a little more laid back (and less dangerous).